then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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