You can't special order awesome
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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