WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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