I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize