It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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