he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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