the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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