Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
