just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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