All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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