I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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