I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
