Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i don't like sucking hair
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize