On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
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I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
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My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize