Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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