ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
