you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
