tell your sister to shave her snatch
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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