i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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