what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
