Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
