Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
