yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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