Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
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The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
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Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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