Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
