Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
