oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
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