i need an iv and a liver transplant
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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