At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
