And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
