I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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