I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
