Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
