Already got asked if we're dating
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
