So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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