I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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