4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
only you would photoshop your dick
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
