You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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