Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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