Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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