I can text with my tongue
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
