I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
