Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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