im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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