I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
