That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
