Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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