i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
