i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
