I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize