Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
