Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You pole danced in your parka.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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