i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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