I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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