Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize