Just fell off a train. Bad.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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