So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
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Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
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I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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