dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
