wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
