If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
