she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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