But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
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I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
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Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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