Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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